Al takes charge and finally breaks the Bundy Curse
by HawksFan12
Summary: Al figures out how to break the Bundy Curse that has haunted him, his family, and his ancestors for centuries. Not for profit, for entertainment only, I own none of the characters.


Al Bundy sat on his stool behind the register at the shoe store, his face cradled in his hands as his elbows rested on the counter. He had a strategically placed tissue in his left hand to quickly wipe up the tears if anyone should enter the store. Once again, he was contemplating his life, or, as he liked to put it, 'surveying the train wreck.' Peggy had recently drained his bank account on e-bay, so he was forced to work overtime to make the house payment, yet again. Yet, when he was fighting illegal immigrants for a shirt with no holes in it at the local second hand thrift store, he had seen some of Peggy's recent purchases in the bins of newly arrived merchandise. He knew that she merely shopped as a form of entertainment, not actually wanting the items that were purchased. But rather than selling them herself on e-bay, she merely loaded up the purchases in her car and dumped them at the thrift store once she had tired of her purchases, which in many cases was the next day. Al had pleaded with her to at least re-sell her items, to slow the bleeding of cash, but this required effort that was not fun for Peggy, so she refused. On her way to the beauty salon to blow even more of Al's money, she carelessly gave away hundreds of dollars' worth of items at the thrift store without a second thought.

Then there were the kids. Despite the fact that Bud was a college graduate and assistant manager at a bank, he still lived in the basement at home. At least he paid for the household's internet, which he used to great extent to amuse himself long into the night. No one in the house had the courage, or stomach, to open the basement door when Bud was down there with his computer porn for hours on end. Bud would get up in the morning, head to work in his used Prius, come home with take-out food, and head straight for the basement. At least he no longer had a blow-up doll named Isis. No, his money as assistant manager had allowed him to purchase an extremely expensive solid latex love doll that cost nearly ten thousand dollars. That, along with his internet porn, kept him amused. Bud had actually been engaged at one time, until his fiancé found out about the love doll. Basically, she gave him one chance to get rid of it, declaring it was the doll or her. Bud had hesitated at tossing out a ten thousand dollar purchase, and in that moment his fiancé had thrown her ring at him, stomped out the door of the Bundy house, never to return. This had embittered Bud, making him cynical to the possibility of an actual relationship with a live woman, and caused him to become a hermit in the basement, emerging only to go to work and get food.

Kelly had also been engaged to be married at one time, and was several months pregnant and three weeks shy of her wedding when she had caught her fiancé cheating on her, shortly before he had been sent back to prison. This hardly surprised Al, given the types of guys that his daughter had attracted over the years, but even Kelly Bundy can mature, and she had been ready to finally leave her wild years behind her and settle down to raise her child. The news that she was pregnant had triggered a profound change within her, and she had her heart set on a new life, determined that her child would not lead the chaotic and poverty-stricken life that she had led. When her past came back to haunt her in the form of a cheating, criminal fiancé, her heart had been completely broken, especially since this was actually her second failed engagement. She had been inconsolable, to the point that the baby's health was in danger. She managed to have her child, a baby girl whom she named Rose, and had devoted her life to raising that child in her parent's home was well as she could. Unfortunately, since Kelly was unemployed, this was at the expense of Al's wallet. The only real skill Kelly had was modeling and acting in local commercials, but her teenage figure was a casualty of the pregnancy. Modeling jobs for a single mother with post-pregnancy pudginess and a bitter attitude toward the world were few and far between. The fact that another mouth was dependent on Al's wages irritated Al on one level, but the truth was that Kelly's little girl was extremely fond of her Grandpa Al, and even his traditional gruffness could not put her off. Al had secretly grown very attached to the newest Bundy, but he was careful not to show it. However, it made giving Kelly money for baby food much more tolerable. When Kelly needed to go somewhere and asked Al to watch baby Rose, Al would snarl "ahh, give her to me!" But once Al and the baby were alone, Al would gently bounce the baby on his knee, watch tv with her, read children's stories to her, and he could even rock her to sleep. After making sure the house was empty, of course. It would stun the members of No Ma'am to hear lullabies coming from the founder and leader of No Ma'am.

So, Al sat in the shoe store, his head cradled in his hands, agonizing over his life, as he had done for over 40 years. Slowly, the despair lifted. A plan took shape in his head. He was past 60 now, and it was time to take firm action. Al decided that the time for sarcastic complaining to his family had passed. He did not really want to die penniless and forgotten. He wanted to go out with some measure of respect, but to do that he needed to be honest with himself about how he felt about his family and what he wanted for them. Also, the time for trying to recapture his lost youth with trips to the nudie bar had passed. When he asked himself why he went there, the only real answer is that he wanted to enjoy some of his money before Peggy and the kids got their hands on it. He would channel that sentiment into a new and much more constructive outlet. For the remaining 8 hours of Al's 12 hour shift, instead of weeping into his hands, he sat behind the counter, making notes on a yellow pad of paper, forming his plan. When a fat woman came into the shoe store, he absent-mindedly helped her buy shoes, his mind still working over his plan. She seemed shocked that no insult came from Al's lips. Her friends had warned her about this place, yet nothing had happened. Once the fat woman had left, it occurred to Al that he had not insulted her, and she was actually out of the store much quicker without the back-and-forth insults. Plus, he had made a $65 sale. Before the day was out, Al made ten more such sales with his new neutral attitude. Not overly polite, yet not hostile. Sure, some of the women still were annoying when they asked to try out several pairs of shoes, but even in cases like this, when they were not being insulted, they were much quicker to make up their minds and get out.

That evening, Al drove his '74 Dodge away from the mall, as he had done for over 40 years, but he made several stops on the way home. One of them was to the grocery store, where he bought a shopping cart full of healthy food for the family, including baby food for Rose. When he steered his Dodge into his driveway, he shut off the engine and sat for a moment, staring at the house. This was the moment he would put his plan into effect. There was sure to be resistance, especially from Peggy, but he resolved to be firm. Besides, half of his plan was already done, there was no turning back now. He sighed, opened the car door, and went up to the front door of his house.

The front door opened, and Al Bundy gazed into his living room. Peggy and Kelly were seated on the couch, watching Rose play on the floor. Peggy heard the door and absently said "Hi honey," without looking at her husband. Kelly gave her father a "Hi Daddy!" Al motioned at her to come here, so she could help him unload the trunk. As Al opened the trunk of the Dodge, Kelly gazed with surprise at the bags of real groceries, rather than fast food and beer. Anticipating her questions, Al said "help me with these, will ya Pumpkin, and I'll explain everything in a minute." As Kelly and Al walked in with armfuls of grocery bags, this did manage to get Peggy's attention. "Al, what in the world? Real food?" Al held up one finger, and said "I'll explain in a minute, Peg. Where's Bud?" Peggy rolled her eyes. "Where do you think?" Al slowly strolled over to the basement door. He moved more slowly these days. He banged on the door three times with his fist and called out "Bud! Get up here!" Once the family had gathered on the couch, Al reached down and turned off the tv. He then launched into the most important speech of his life.

"Family, I have made some decisions at work today, and they affect all of you. Basically, in spite of everything that we have been through over the years, I really love all of you guys, and what I'm going to tell you all is for the best." This really got everyone's attention. Did Al Bundy just admit that he loved them? Al continued. "Bud, you first. You are allowing your life to waste away down there in that basement, and it's going to stop now. You have 30 days to get out of that basement and find your own place to live. If you stay here, you have to pay $500 per month in rent, and you have to see a counselor for your addiction to porn. The door will come off the basement, so you have no privacy to pleasure yourself down there. We'll only have a gate to keep Rose from falling down the stairs. I know you were hurt by your fiancé, but the truth is you brought it on yourself with your porn addiction. Even if you leave and find your own place to live, I'd strongly suggest you see a counselor to help you get over this. Son, don't wait until you're an old man like me to realize that a lot of the blame for your life is in the mirror. What I want you to do, son, is get over this porn addiction, get out there, meet people, and have a life." Bud stared in dumbfounded shock, unable to speak, and Al moved on promptly.

"Kelly, you also need to get out more and see people, but since you have a baby and no job, I'm not going to force you out the door. But I want you to get a job. I have a friend at the mall, she remembers you from school, and she manages a fitness club. I've told her about what you're doing now, and she's willing to give you a part-time job. If you do well, it could become full time. Think about it, Pumpkin. It's easy work for you. You are great with people when you want to be. And you'd have unlimited use of the place, so you could get yourself back in shape."

Without pausing, Al turned to his wife. "And Peg, I've saved the best for last. The good news for you is, I won't make you get a job. I'll buy the groceries from now on, and I'll put them away and do the cooking. It's my new hobby, Peg; we're going to have real, nutritious food in this house for once." He nodded toward Rose. "We're not going to pass on our past mistakes to the next generation. And you can continue to sit at home in front of the tv all day if that's what you want to do, Peg, I won't try to stop you. The bad news is, you are cut off from my money. The joint bank account we have? I'm not using that one anymore. I have my own account now, and I'm not even telling you which bank it's at. My pay will be direct deposited to it, so no more stealing paychecks from my wallet. So, if you want to have money to spend on e-bay, you have to get out there and get yourself a job to earn that money, at least until your social security starts coming in. If you get a job, Peg, and you earn your own money, you can keep every penny and spend it how you want, which is more than I have ever been able to do."

Al paused here, to see what the reaction would be from his family. Peggy was the first to speak up. "Al Bundy, are you… you're cutting me off from money?" Al smirked. "I'm cutting you off from MY money, Peg. Now I admit, throughout this whole marriage, I've been greedy and selfish too, but Peg, your spending is killing this family, and I'm putting a stop to it. It's time the money went to good things." Bud then spoke up. "Now hold on here a minute. Why are you kicking me out? You think this will help me in some way?" Al turned to his son. "I'm making you step up and become a man, son, not a perverted little basement-dwelling, porn addicted troll who's always beating off in front of his computer! You're my only son, and I'm not gonna let you waste your whole life! So help me, you're going to get a real life if it kills ya!" Bud had no reaction to this, and Kelly took the opportunity to speak up. "Daddy, I'd like to get a real job and get out of the house, but I have to think about…" and she nodded toward Rose. Al hesitated. He then said, "well, Pumpkin, I thought about that too… you know, this fitness club is in my mall, and, well, if you wanted to, you could, maybe… umm, leave Rose with me in the shoe store…" Next thing Al knew, Kelly had him in a hug from the side. He strangely did not feel the usual urge to push his family away. Peggy and Bud looked furious.

Al took a deep breath. "Family, you may be upset with me now, but I'll tell you why I'm doing this. I'm breaking the Bundy Curse. I know that if we act unselfishly and help each other out, the Bundy Curse will be broken. It's why I have failed all my life, and why it's followed you kids. Because every time we have tried to succeed, it's been motivated by greed, backstabbing, and lies. We've always laughed it off and acted like it's a big joke. Bud, it got you hooked on porn and unable to form a human relationship. Kelly, it made you a blonde bimbo that ruined two engagements and left you a single mother. It robbed me of my dreams of playing pro football. Peggy, you married into the Bundy curse, plus you have those Wanker genes pulling you toward laziness and greed. If we all do what's right, help each other and ourselves, we will break this curse. It was the Bundy Curse that kept us poor and starving all those decades. Either it was my greed, or your mother's greed, or you kids, or all of us. But we must stop this curse now before it follows the next generation of Bundys." Al picked up Rose to illustrate his point.

In the next six months, many changes took place. Bud stayed in the basement, porn-free, for 4 months while he saw a counselor regularly after work. Within a year, he had bought a small condo on the outskirts of Chicago, continued to go to counseling, was promoted to bank manager, and got asked out by a woman, out of the blue, at a coffee shop. Kelly took the job at the health club, found that she loved it, and quickly went from part time to full time. She was rapidly raised several times in pay. Now, somewhat to her embarrassment, she makes more than her father. With Bud's financial advice, and his help getting a home loan approved, she purchased a nice house several blocks away from her parent's house. She and Rose often walk through the neighborhood to visit Grandpa Al and Grandma Peggy. At the end of the first year from Al's big speech, she had still not opened up enough to allow a man into her life, but she was learning at work that not all men were abusive party animals like she had dated in high school, and was starting to cast glances at a dark-haired regular to the club who worked at a local school. Since she had been regularly working out on the equipment, her pre-pregnancy body was slowly returning.

Peggy had the roughest transition of the family. Her aversion to work was extremely powerful, thanks to the Wanker genes. She slipped into depression for a time, since she had no more money. She tried begging, borrowing, and stealing from her husband, but was not successful. Eventually, she began to consider the idea of a part time job, however reluctantly. Fortunately for Peggy, Al found her the perfect job at the mall. She landed a job at the cosmetics counter in the women's clothing department at a department store in the mall. Now, she spends her days chatting with other women about clothes and cosmetics. Sometimes she swears it's not even work. She regularly has the highest sales figures of any of the other employees. Amazingly, Peggy even became much more careful of how money is spent, since it is her own money. Bud gently provided her with some basic budgeting tips, and she took it to heart, learning some financial responsibility. This is not to say that she never spends money impulsively, but it is no longer in excess, she keeps what she buys, and it doesn't endanger the house payment any longer. She often takes a packed lunch from home and walks through the mall to the shoe store to eat lunch with her husband and granddaughter, or to the health club to visit with Kelly.

Al Bundy took his own advice to heart, and changed his outlook and attitude in life. He let go of his bitterness, greed, selfishness, and longing to re-live the past. He is by no means perfect, but he has an easier time at work since he is no longer preoccupied with hurling vicious insults at anyone who walks in the door. Having baby Rose in the store with him while Kelly was at work served as a constant reminder of what was important to him now. He had dreaded having a baby in the store with him at first, but she was no trouble, even when she became a toddler, and it served as a fantastic ice-breaker with the customers, as well as a strong signal to the fat women that he had insulted in the past that his priorities had changed. Besides, Rose did not follow her mother in the intelligence department. All that Al had to do to keep her occupied was sit her in a chair with a children's book, and she would quietly sit there, mouthing the words to herself for hours until she had the book figured out by herself. When Peggy stopped by to eat lunch with him, he noticed that he no longer recoiled from her presence. He could barely admit it to himself, but he was starting to enjoy seeing her come into the store.

Al and Peggy managed to pay off their house ahead of schedule, and with both of them working and money no longer being sent to the home shopping network, they managed to save enough to purchase a dream retirement present that both of them agreed on: a bright red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, much like the one that Al had once restored with Steve Rhoades. That car had turned out to be stolen, but now Al and Peggy had one of their own. Al even persuaded Peggy to let him restore his beloved Dodge, complete with a new engine and drivetrain, which they both rode to work every day. The Mustang was for weekends and vacations. Al was overjoyed; his faithful automotive companion, the Dodge, had a new lease on life. But the best retirement gift for Al was the knowledge that he had broken the Bundy Curse, and that this curse would no longer follow his children or his grandchildren.


End file.
